How to Become a “Sex God” After 50: Real Virility, Better Erections, More Control, More Confidence
- 50TOUGH
- Jul 18
- 12 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Let’s be clear: after 50, great sex is not about pretending you’re 25. It’s about becoming a more dangerous, composed, capable version of yourself.
The men who become excellent lovers later in life usually do four things well:
They protect blood flow. Erections are a vascular event. Your penis is basically a performance gauge for your heart, arteries and hormones.
They train control. Pelvic floor, breathing, pacing and arousal control matter massively.
They manage recovery. Sleep, stress, alcohol, testosterone, prostate health and fitness all show up in the bedroom.
They stop relying on luck. They build a system.
This is not about gimmicks. It’s about becoming physically, sexually and mentally sharp.
Quick disclaimer: This article is for education and optimisation, not a medical diagnosis. Erectile issues, low libido or sudden performance changes can be signs of cardiovascular, hormonal, prostate, metabolic or medication-related problems. Speak to your GP, urologist or men’s health physician before starting medication, supplements, hormone therapy, vacuum devices or aggressive training.
The Big Truth: Your Erection Is a Blood-Flow Scorecard
After 50, the main enemies of bedroom performance are usually:
Poor cardiovascular health
High blood pressure
Insulin resistance or type 2 diabetes
Low testosterone or poor free testosterone
High stress and high cortisol
Poor sleep
Too much alcohol
Porn overuse or desensitisation
Pelvic floor weakness or tightness
Prostate issues
Medication side effects, especially some antidepressants, blood pressure drugs and prostate medications
A powerful erection is not magic. It is:
Good arteries + good hormones + good nerves + good psychology + good technique.
Get those right and you can be formidable well into your 50s, 60s and beyond.
1. Build the Body That Performs
Walk Like Your Sex Life Depends on It — Because It Does
The penis is fed by small blood vessels. If your blood vessels are stiff, inflamed or clogged, erections suffer before other warning signs appear.
The best “natural erection enhancer” is often boring but brutally effective:
Your minimum weekly standard:
150–180 minutes of zone 2 cardio
Brisk walking, cycling, rowing, swimming. You should be able to talk, but not sing.
2–3 strength sessions per week
Squats, deadlifts or hip hinges, rows, presses, loaded carries.
1–2 short interval sessions weekly if your heart health allows
Example: 6 x 30 seconds hard effort, 90 seconds easy.
Men who improve cardiovascular fitness often report better erection firmness, better stamina, better mood and better confidence.
If you do nothing else: walk 45 minutes a day.
Lift Weights to Improve Testosterone Signalling
Strength training will not magically turn you into a teenager, but it improves insulin sensitivity, body composition, confidence, libido and hormone environment.
Focus on:
Squats or leg press
Romanian deadlifts or hip hinges
Lunges
Pull-ups or pulldowns
Rows
Press-ups or bench press
Farmer’s carries
Core work
The goal is not bodybuilding. The goal is to become a capable male animal again.
Good target after 50:
Train hard, but do not destroy yourself. Leave 1–3 reps in reserve on most sets. Recovery matters.
2. Train Your Pelvic Floor: The Bedroom Control Centre
Pelvic floor training is one of the most underrated sexual performance tools for men over 50.
The pelvic floor helps with:
Erection rigidity
Ejaculation control
Urinary control
Orgasm intensity
Penile blood trapping
Post-prostate health recovery
The key muscles are mainly the bulbocavernosus and ischiocavernosus. In plain English: the muscles around the base of the penis and perineum.
How to Find the Muscle
Next time you urinate, briefly stop the flow. The muscle you use is part of the pelvic floor.
Do not make a habit of doing exercises while urinating. That is only to identify the muscle.
You can also imagine trying to “lift” the area between your testicles and anus.
The 8-Week Kegel Protocol for Men
Do this 5–6 days per week.
Phase 1: Control
Slow contractions
Tighten pelvic floor gently.
Hold for 3–5 seconds.
Relax fully for 5–10 seconds.
Do 10 reps.
Fast contractions
Squeeze for 1 second.
Relax for 2 seconds.
Do 10 reps.
Repeat this twice daily.
Phase 2: Strength
After 2–3 weeks:
Hold contractions for 8–10 seconds.
Relax for 10 seconds.
Do 10 reps.
Add 10–20 fast pulses.
Do this twice daily.
Phase 3: Sexual Skill
Once you can control the muscle, practise using it during arousal.
But here is where many men mess up:
Do not just clench constantly.
A tight pelvic floor can make premature ejaculation, pelvic pain or erection issues worse. You need both contraction and relaxation.
That means you also need reverse Kegels.
Reverse Kegels: The Secret Weapon for Lasting Longer
A reverse Kegel is the opposite of clenching. It is a gentle release or downward relaxation of the pelvic floor.
Think:
Belly breathing
Relaxing the perineum
Letting tension drop
Not forcing or straining
This is useful when you feel yourself rushing towards climax. Many men over-contract, hold their breath and tense their glutes. That speeds everything up.
Practise this:
Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
Let your belly expand.
Imagine the pelvic floor softening.
Exhale slowly for 6–8 seconds.
Keep jaw, abdomen and glutes relaxed.
Do 5 minutes daily.
Kegels give you power. Reverse Kegels give you control. You need both.
3. The Porn Star Techniques That Actually Work
Let’s separate reality from fantasy.
Porn performers are not magical sexual mutants. Many rely on preparation, medication, camera tricks, pacing, conditioning and sometimes medical interventions.
Some techniques are useful. Some are risky. Some are fake.
Here is what actually transfers to real life.
Technique 1: Warm-Up Before Sex
Many male performers do not just walk on set cold. They warm up physically and sexually.
For regular men, that means:
Light movement beforehand
Warm shower
Relaxed breathing
No heavy meal immediately before
Minimal alcohol
Some arousal without rushing
Possibly a vacuum erection device if clinically appropriate
Medication if prescribed
Your body performs better when primed.
A good pre-sex routine after 50:
Hydrate earlier in the day.
Avoid a massive dinner.
Limit alcohol to 0–1 drinks.
Take a walk or do light mobility.
Have a warm shower.
Breathe slowly to calm performance anxiety.
Use lubrication.
Focus on rhythm, not panic.
Simple. Effective.
Technique 2: Edging for Ejaculation Control
Edging is controlled arousal training. It teaches you to recognise the point of no return before you blast through it.
The aim is not to become numb. The aim is to develop awareness.
The Scale Method
Rate arousal from 1 to 10.
1–4: relaxed
5–6: aroused but controlled
7–8: close
9: danger zone
10: ejaculation
Most men only notice they are close when they are already at 9.5. Too late.
Train yourself to notice 6, 7 and 8.
Stop-Start Method
During solo practice or partnered sex:
Build arousal to 7/10.
Stop stimulation.
Breathe slowly.
Relax pelvic floor.
Let arousal fall to 4–5/10.
Start again.
Do 3–5 cycles.
This is one of the most practical, old-school methods for lasting longer.
Technique 3: Change Rhythm Before You Need To
Amateurs wait until they are about to finish, then panic.
Experienced men change pace early.
Use:
Slower rhythm
Shallower movement
Stillness
Position changes
Breathing resets
More attention on your partner
Less frantic thrusting
The best lovers are not jackhammers. They are conductors.
Technique 4: Control Your Breathing
If your breathing is fast and high in the chest, your nervous system thinks you are in a fight.
That increases tension and reduces control.
Use this:
The 4–6 Breath
Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds.
Exhale slowly for 6 seconds.
Keep shoulders relaxed.
Relax jaw and abdomen.
Do this before and during sex. It calms the nervous system and helps you stay in command.
Technique 5: Use Lubrication Like a Grown Man
A lot of men over 50 still act like lubricant is optional. It is not.
Good lubrication improves comfort, stamina and pleasure for both partners. It also reduces friction-related irritation, which can help you last longer and perform more confidently.
Good options:
Water-based lubricant: easy clean-up, condom safe.
Silicone-based lubricant: longer lasting, excellent for menopausal dryness, but not ideal with silicone toys.
Hybrid lubricants: mix of both.
Quality brands:
YES Organic: https://www.yesyesyes.org
Sliquid: https://sliquid.com
Pjur: https://www.pjur.com
For many couples over 50, especially if the woman is peri-menopausal or post-menopausal, lubrication is not a luxury. It is essential kit.
4. Vacuum Erection Devices: Pumps That Are Not Novelty Toys
Let’s talk about cock pumps properly.
There are two categories:
Novelty sex-shop pumpsOften poor gauges, cheap seals, excessive pressure risk, sold for fantasy enlargement.
Medical-grade vacuum erection devicesDesigned for erectile dysfunction, penile rehabilitation after prostate surgery, and improving erection quality.
You want category two.
A proper vacuum erection device creates negative pressure around the penis, drawing blood into the erectile tissue. Some men use a constriction ring at the base to maintain the erection.
What Pumps Can Actually Do
A quality pump can help:
Improve erection firmness temporarily
Assist men with erectile dysfunction
Support penile rehabilitation after prostate surgery
Improve confidence
Help maintain penile tissue health where erections have become infrequent
What Pumps Usually Cannot Do
They do not reliably create permanent penis enlargement. Any increase in size is usually temporary from increased blood and fluid.
Anyone promising permanent gains from pumping alone is selling you a fantasy.
Good Pump Brands to Consider
1. SOMAerect
A respected medical-grade vacuum erection device, commonly used in clinical settings.
AU supplier:
Look for: SOMAerect Response II or similar medical VED models.
2. LA Pump
Cylinders are individually hand crafted to YOUR size specification for comfort and the best vacuum seal without the use of awkward rubber gaskets.
US site:
3. Encore Deluxe Vacuum Therapy System
Commonly used in the US and available through medical suppliers. It has manual and battery-operated options.
Info:
4. Bathmate
Bathmate is a popular hydro-pump using water pressure. It is more of a consumer device than a traditional medical VED.
Site:
Some men like it for temporary fullness and confidence, but if you have ED, prostate surgery history, diabetes, blood-thinning medication, Peyronie’s disease or vascular issues, start with a medical-grade VED and professional guidance.
Safe Pumping Rules
Do not be stupid with vacuum pressure. More pressure is not more manhood. It is more risk.
Basic safety:
Start with low pressure.
Use plenty of lubricant at the base seal.
Limit sessions to around 10–15 minutes.
Stop if there is pain, numbness, coldness, bruising or discolouration.
Do not sleep with a constriction ring.
Do not use a constriction ring for more than 30 minutes.
Avoid aggressive pumping if you take blood thinners unless cleared by a doctor.
Be cautious with diabetes, reduced sensation, Peyronie’s disease or penile curvature.
Never chase pain. Pain means stop.
Used properly, a pump can be a serious tool. Used recklessly, it can damage tissue.
5. The Medication Conversation: No Shame, Just Strategy
Many men over 50 benefit from PDE5 inhibitors such as:
Sildenafil (Viagra)
Tadalafil (Cialis)(Recommended)
Vardenafil
Avanafil
These improve blood flow by enhancing nitric oxide signalling.
Tadalafil vs Sildenafil
Sildenafil
Often taken before sex.
Works for several hours.
Food, especially a heavy meal, can reduce effectiveness.
Tadalafil
Longer acting.
Can last up to 36 hours.
Also available as low-dose daily treatment in some cases.
The low dose daily treatment may also help with prostrate issues (2.5mg/5mg)
Some men prefer it because it feels less “scheduled”.
Do not mix these drugs with nitrate medication. That combination can be dangerous. Also be careful if you have heart disease, low blood pressure or take alpha-blockers.
Speak to your GP or a proper men’s health clinician.
Used wisely, medication is not weakness. It is a tool.
6. Testosterone: The Virility Hormone, But Do Not Guess
Low testosterone can affect:
Libido
Erection quality
Morning erections
Mood
Muscle mass
Motivation
Fat distribution
Energy
Confidence
But do not self-diagnose. Get bloodwork.
Ask your doctor about checking:
Total testosterone
Free testosterone or calculated free testosterone
SHBG
LH
FSH
Prolactin
Oestradiol
Thyroid function
HbA1c
Fasting glucose
Lipids
Liver function
Kidney function
PSA, where appropriate
Full blood count
Testosterone therapy can help the right man, but it is not a toy. It needs proper monitoring.
If a clinic offers testosterone without checking cardiovascular risk, PSA, haematocrit and symptoms properly, be wary.
7. Nutrition for Virility
You do not need a bizarre “alpha male” diet. You need a diet that supports blood flow, hormones and body composition.
Eat Like This
High-protein meals
Oily fish
Extra virgin olive oil
Eggs
Greek yoghurt
Lean meats
Beans and lentils
Berries
Beetroot
Leafy greens
Nuts
Avocado
Whole grains if tolerated
Plenty of water
Reduce This
Heavy alcohol
Ultra-processed food
Excess sugar
Constant snacking
Deep-fried food
Huge late-night meals
Smoking or vaping nicotine
The alcohol truth
Alcohol is one of the biggest bedroom saboteurs for men over 50.
One drink may relax you. Three drinks can kill firmness, reduce sensitivity, lower testosterone, ruin sleep and make you look older.
If you want elite performance, drink less.
8. Supplements: What Might Help and What Is Overhyped
Supplements are not the main game. But a few have reasonable support.
L-Citrulline
May support nitric oxide production and blood flow.
Typical dose used by many men: 3–6g daily.
Do not combine recklessly with ED medication or blood pressure medication without medical advice.
Beetroot
High in dietary nitrates, which may support nitric oxide and vascular function.
Use beetroot juice or beetroot powder before training or sex if tolerated.
Omega-3
Supports cardiovascular health and inflammation balance.
Vitamin D
Useful if deficient. Check blood levels.
Magnesium
May support sleep, relaxation and general health, especially if intake is low.
Zinc
Only useful if you are low. Do not megadose zinc long term; it can cause copper deficiency. Take a copper supplement but not at the same time.
Avoid
Mystery “male enhancement” pills
Gas-station erection pills
Unregulated imported tablets
Yohimbe/yohimbine unless medically supervised
Anything claiming permanent enlargement
Many “natural Viagra” products are contaminated with hidden prescription drugs.
9. Forums: What Men Over 50 Say Actually Works
Men’s health forums can be useful, but remember: forums are anecdote, not proof.
That said, the consistent success stories from men over 50 usually match what the science says.
The recurring winners are:
Losing belly fat
Walking daily
Heavy but sensible strength training
Reducing alcohol
Fixing sleep
Getting blood pressure and glucose under control
Pelvic floor training
Using PDE5 medication properly
Using a medical-grade pump
Treating performance anxiety
Communicating better with partners
Stopping compulsive porn use
Using lubrication
Taking more time with arousal
Getting testosterone checked
The failures are also consistent:
Chasing penis enlargement scams
Over-pumping
Abusing porn
Drinking heavily
Avoiding the doctor
Ignoring relationship tension
Thinking supplements will fix a lifestyle problem
The men who win are not the ones looking for one magic trick. They stack small advantages.
10. Become a Better Lover, Not Just a Harder Erection
A “sex god” after 50 is not just a man with a strong erection. He is a man who knows how to create safety, intensity, confidence and pleasure.
Ask Better Questions
Many men are too proud to ask. Big mistake.
Try:
“Do you like this pace?”
“More pressure or less?”
“Show me what feels best.”
“Do you want slower or firmer?”
“Do you want more build-up?”
That is not weakness. That is mastery.
Slow Down
A lot of women, especially after 50, need more warm-up, more lubrication, more emotional connection and more gradual arousal.
If you rush, you lose.
Sexual confidence is not speed. It is presence.
11. Porn Habits: Use Your Brain, Not Your Dopamine Loop
Porn can train your brain to need novelty, intensity and visual stimulation that real life does not always match.
If you struggle with:
Delayed ejaculation
Erectile issues with a partner but not alone
Needing extreme novelty
Low desire for real sex
Anxiety during partnered sex
Then try a 30–60 day reset:
No porn
Reduce compulsive masturbation
Focus on real intimacy
Practise slower arousal
Rebuild sensitivity
This is not moralising. It is neurological housekeeping.
12. A Practical 12-Week Virility Plan
Weeks 1–2: Baseline
Book GP blood pressure and bloodwork review.
Walk 30–45 minutes daily.
Start pelvic floor work.
Reduce alcohol.
Sleep 7–8 hours.
Buy quality lubricant.
Stop novelty enhancement pills.
Weeks 3–4: Build the Engine
Strength train 2–3 times weekly.
Add zone 2 cardio.
Start edging practice once or twice weekly.
Practise breathing daily.
Improve protein intake.
Reduce belly fat if needed.
Weeks 5–8: Add Tools
Consider medical-grade VED if erections are inconsistent.
Speak to doctor about PDE5 options if needed.
Get testosterone and metabolic markers checked.
Continue Kegels and reverse Kegels.
Reduce porn if it is affecting performance.
Weeks 9–12: Refine Sexual Skill
Practise pacing and arousal control.
Use more communication.
Experiment with positions that reduce performance pressure.
Keep cardio and lifting consistent.
Review what improves firmness, desire and confidence.
13. The Bedroom Performance Checklist
Before sex:
Did you sleep well?
Have you drunk too much?
Are you stressed and rushing?
Have you eaten a huge meal?
Have you moved your body today?
Have you got lubricant ready?
Are you mentally present?
Are you trying to perform, or trying to connect?
During sex:
Breathe slowly.
Relax jaw and shoulders.
Use your hips, not panic thrusting.
Change rhythm early.
Use reverse Kegels when arousal climbs too high.
Focus on your partner’s response.
Do not make your erection the whole event.
After sex:
Do not disappear emotionally.
Stay connected.
Learn what worked.
Build confidence for next time.
14. Red Flags: When to See a Doctor
Do not ignore these:
Sudden erectile dysfunction
Chest pain or breathlessness with sex
Loss of morning erections
Very low libido
Penile pain or curvature
Blood in urine or semen
Difficulty urinating
Testicular pain or swelling
Numbness or loss of sensation
ED with diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease
Depression or severe anxiety
Erectile dysfunction can be an early warning sign of cardiovascular disease. Treat it as information, not embarrassment.
The Bottom Line
To become sexually powerful after 50, stop chasing magic tricks.
Build the engine. Train the pelvic floor. Improve blood flow. Use proper tools. Get your hormones checked. Communicate like a grown man. Stop drinking like a student. Sleep properly. Use lubrication. Practise control.
The man who does this becomes dangerous in the best possible way: calm, capable, confident and deeply present.
That is real virility.
Not teenage chaos.
Mature power.
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